The Derogatory Diary of YeN LiN
by Mithya Aviana Cailin
Summary: This isn't real. Why do I have to suffer? What? The Doctor is real? Things like this only happened in fanfiction! Wait, am I not a real person? Am I an OC? Damn it, why can't you make me a Mary Sue instead? Why do you have to torture me? You better make me the center of universe where the main characters are in love with me if I ever survive this, you bastard! TW inside.
1. Chapter 1

**The Derogatory Diary of YeN LiN**

**Fandom: Doctor Who**

**Disclaimer: Doctor Who does not belong to YeN LiN.**

**Summary: This isn't real. Why do I have to suffer? What? The Doctor is real? Things like this only happened in fanfiction! Wait, am I not a real person? Am I an OC? Damn it, why can't you make me a Mary Sue instead? Why do you have to torture me? You better make me the center of universe where the main characters are in love with me if I ever survive this, you bastard!**

**TW: Low self-esteem, suicidal tendencies, lots of negative thoughts, sexual abuse, slave trading, incurable idiocy, etc. You have been warned.**

Warning: Bad English form all around. Sorry for the headaches.

_Further Warning from YeN LiN: Unrealistic situation where the 'Me' gets into bad situation and just let it go and immediately thinking about DW characters and how to make them 'mine' because, to hell with the good storyline, I am going to be a Mary Sue or 'MS' you could call me now. Hmm, that's an okay nickname, don't you think?_

_P.S: I don't think it would work though, the making them mine thingie... Ugh, here I go again... Get a grip, bitch! Watch out for hurricane MS!_

Something impossible happened to me. I have found myself in another world, one that is completely different than my original world. I noticed immediately because the sky is of reddish colour and I was sure that it was night time before. I was in my bedroom and then I was not.

I woke up in unfamiliar place. I was alone and confused. I was at home, minding my own business and then I suddenly woke up in this alien place. I'm not very good with the unfamiliar and I'm definitely freaking out. For a long time, I wasn't aware that I have ended up in Doctor Who universe. It's not like those fanfiction where you would almost immediately find yourself on the path meeting the main characters. Also, I'm pretty sure I'm not some fictional character that some writer like to add on their favorite fandom. I'm just Me, this boring and stupid person that still couldn't figure out what to do with the life given to me. I'm nothing special and I'm not companion material. I'm not brave or smart and I'm certainly not fit enough to run around the galaxy with the Doctor. And we all know, the Doctor only took the best of humankind and I'm definitely not that. If I'm truly a fictional original character some writer made then I would like to punch said writer for not giving me the best quality characteristic to survive the upcoming trouble. You fucking asshat!

Anyway, I met someone and I immediately latch on him, begging for help, because I was lost and scared. I was hoping that person is trustworthy but of course, he was not. He was kind, at first, gave me food and water and comforted me. Then he took me to a place and sold me to a slave trader. And much to my horror, the slave trader is alien in nature with red skin and fin on top of his head. I might be into Doctor Who but it would still surprise me to see real-life alien, mind you, so I understandably freaked out even more. I was push into a cage-like prison. There were lot of people, both human and alien alike, like me, unwilling prisoners. I cried that night, some of the prisoners were harsh to the newcomers, annoyed that we couldn't stop crying or pleading or talking while some are nice and tried to be friendly. The slave traders' minion were the worst, they laughed at the prisoners and some even would hurt you. I was freshly new to the situation and I was rude to the alien prisoner who was kind to me. I just want to go home and be around human.

It didn't cross my mind that I got stuck in Doctor Who universe because no one mention him and there is nothing familiar at all about the surrounding that could have clue me in. Not that it would do me any good since obviously the Doctor weren't around otherwise he would have rescue us, wouldn't he? Of course, eventually, I thought about the TV series, after all, it is about alien which kind of fitting with my situation. Honestly I was mentally and psychically exhausted with the harsh situation I was in so don't blame me for not going around asking about the Doctor. It's not like I could contact him even if I know of his existence.

I was there for what feel like months. They starved us most of the time, molested some of us occasionally and hurt us when someone get any idea to talk back or try to escape. By then, I was used to the alien prisoners, no longer feel weirded by them, since we were both in the same situation. Some tried to escape but got caught and punished severely, sometimes its include cutting off ones finger, much to my horror. I am a coward so I would never try to escape when the punishment includes bodily harm.

I felt even more helpless than before. I made friends with some prisoners and I hated to be forced apart from them whether because it was a punishment or worst, they got sold. I tried to make myself undesirable as possible in hope to be invisible enough not to attract attention when there is an auction. Thankfully, I'm actually undesirable in my normal life so it doesn't come as a surprise that no one actually paid much attention to ugly old Me. But because of it, I have to do many undesirable chores, sometimes it was downright disgusting. Times like that I wish I could just kill myself and be done with this horrible new life.

You often heard about it on the news or maybe watch the issue on a movie but you never thought it would actually happen to you. I despised human trafficking but it's not like I could do anything about it back then after all I'm not a police or FBI agent who deals with darker aspect of humanity. To think that I actually ended up in human-alien trafficking, was this a result of my bad karma? My Mom always scolded me for not praying regularly, she said I should pray every day in order to gain good karma, but I am a depressed, socially-awkward, unintentionally-rude person who refused to listen. I already believed that I'm a sinner and I will always ended up in Hell.

Well, welcome to my Hell.

I thought about killing myself everyday but I just couldn't figure out how to do it. Maybe I should tried to escape and hope they will shoot me dead but they made it clear they won't kill the merchandise but that doesn't mean they won't damage us. There was a doctor here who treated us after a harsh punishment. He would give us medicine and send us on our not-merry way back to Hell. I hated him for not helping us escape. I know that he maybe has his own situation that made him work for a slave trader but I am afraid and suffering and I just want to go home. I hated those alien slave traders who mocked us, that we can't ever go back home again. I hated that man who sold me to these slave traders in the first place. I wanted to hurt all of these bastards but what can I do? I'm useless through and through.

Day after day, I lost the few friends I made when they got sold. I never even knew their name. We were not allowed to keep our name here. They said our new owner willbe the one who give us new name like a freaking pets. Those who got caught speaking names will be beaten down. So I kept my mouth shut and never told anyone my name.

One day, everything changes, someone attacked the camp I was in. I think it was a team of soldiers. They were ambushing the camp. For the first time ever, a spark of hope lit inside me again. I truly hope they were on our side, that they will rescue us prisoners. And then I saw her.

River Song.

I blinked my eyes a few times to make sure I'm not wrong. It is her. That's when I realized that I am in Doctor Who universe. I couldn't stop staring at her. She was jumping around elegantly avoiding the attack on her person while dealing damages on the enemies. She is awesome.

River Song is my favorite character and I ship her with the Doctor desperately. I hated her sad ending. I read plenty of fanfiction where she survived the library. I kept hoping the future show of Doctor Who will include her coming back but it seem unlikely.

Someone opened the cage where I was jailed and urged us to get out. I snapped out of my trance and moved to get out but stopped. Where can I go? I have nowhere to go. Now here is my predicament. Should I go to her, to River and ask for her help? That's the logical solution, isn't it? She could take me to the Doctor, to the Tardis and maybe the Doctor can take me back home.

I miss my life, no matter how boring and unfulfilling it was. I miss my family even if we hardly talk to each other. I even miss my job and my scary adulthood responsibility. After everything that happened to me here, maybe I would have different perspective in life? Maybe I could make it. I didn't think so before. I am always such a pessimistic person. One should always invite good thought and positive overview in life they said but I can only think bad thought and negative overview since forever. They said all those negativity will make you invite negativity outcome as well but I still couldn't force myself to be optimistic. Would I capable of changing? What if instead I got depressed even more and continue can't cope in life and ended up committing suicide?

Well, I suppose at least I will be at home when that happen? Or is that selfish? Making my family see the end of Me? Maybe I should just kill myself here and spare them the heartaches. But...are my family wondering about my whereabout currently? I would hate to make them worry but then again I'm always such a disappointment. Maybe they will feel relief that I'm gone.

I hated this world because of what happened with the slave trading thing. But this is the world where the Doctor existed, where River existed. Could I do it, be a character in Doctor Who universe? I knew that DW universe is not all flower and puppies, that this world is dangerous most of the time and the best and the worst of humanity and alien are here and out there.

I read many fanfiction about DW fans get themselves stuck in DW world (like me) but they are brave and awesome and adapt well (unlike me). I think the Universe just make a big mistake. They swallowed and spit out the wrong DW fans. I am totally going to die here or worst, continue living as a failure.

Well, isn't that depressing?

Also there is the matter whether I could make River or let alone the Doctor trust me enough to help me. But the Doctor is a good person so he will probably help me find a way home, right?

While I was lost in my thought, River suddenly make an eye contact with me and she smiled. River freaking Song just smiled at me! She walked toward me and said, "YeN LiN, thanks Goodness, I finally found you!"

Whaaaat?

She knew me? Wait, what did she just call me?

"Look at you. So young. So thin. Don't worry we will fix that soon." River said with...pity? "And, ugh, you need a shower."

No shit, Sherlock! It's not like the slave traders willing to waste foods or waters on us prisoners unless it was auction day then we were required to look good enough.

"You...know me?"

"Of course I do, we are friends!" exclaimed River.

I'm friend with River Song? Since when?

"Well, i suppose it's early days for you, huh, YeN?"

Early days? That sounded like something she said to the Doctor. "Why do you kept calling me that?"

"Calling you what?"

"YeN?"

"Well, isn't that your name? YeN LiN? You told me so."

Whaat? Did she mistake me with someone else? "I told you that?" Ok, so maybe future Me decided on the new name? How did future Me come up with that name anyway? And why would I lie about my name? It is not like my name is forbidden like a certain someone. So why?

River frowned at me. Oh gosh, now she knew that I kind of lied about my name. Will this ruin my chance of being rescued?

"Sorry, I forgot. This place doesn't allow us to speak out names." I replied.

If she caught my lie, she didn't commented on it. She simply smiled and told me to follow her. So I did.

TBC

AN: I'm sorry if there are words that offended you. Please don't get upset and attack me.


	2. Chapter 2

River took me to a small house in some small village. The house look beautiful and the surrounding area giving out peaceful feeling.

She took me via her vortex manipulator so at first, I don't exactly able to appreciate the sudden change in surrounding as I was busy throwing up on nearby bushes.

I glared at River when she said that I will get used to it.

After I was done making a fool of myself, she took me inside and give me a change of clothes. I am eager to take a shower and it took hours before I feel clean enough.

When I got out of the shower, River invite me to the kitchen and gave me porridge and tea to start with. I was so hungry I devoured it in a second. And then I feel sleepy. I wanted to talk to River, so many things I want to ask but she smiled and told me to go to bed first. So I did. And boy, am I glad. Soft bed here I come!

I slept so much I feel somewhat better. As I woke up in the house alone with no River, reality of my current situation start to heavily weight on me. I am in a freaking DW universe. How is that possible? How did I even get here? And River, she knew me, Me! How awesome is that? Like something out of fanfiction, don't you think? Though usually the OC or SI usually come across the Doctor first, at least those that I read.

I took a look around the house. It's River's house. There are picture frames on the wall and on the table. The pictures are of the Doctor, the Ponds and River herself. On the living room, on the table beside the cushion, I recognized a blue book, River's diary! I walked toward it and touch the cover gingerly. I heard sound similar to earlier on my arrival signaling someone coming in via the vortex manipulator and I know it will be River so I took steps away from the book. Just as River entered the living room, bearing a brown bag and two cup on her other hands.

"Breakfast is here." River said with a grin as she saw me standing there. She stopped short as she took a look at me and toward the book.

"I didn't read it." I explained quickly.

River sighed with a smile. "I know. Beside you know some of the events I wrote there anyway..."

There she did it again, saying stuff that make me even more curious. "You...really do know who I am, don't you? Somewhat?"

"And you know who I am too. In fact, you know a bit more than most people, don't you?"

"I...I don't know...I am not sure..."

"It's okay. Lets have our breakfast first." River handed me the brown bag.

I took it and peek inside. "Big belly cheeseburger?"

"And spicy chicken ball and a coke with no ice, your favorite..." River replied with a grin.

"How did you know that?" I asked in annoyance. Deep down I probably can take a guess but I apparently still in denial and need confirmation straight from her mouth first before I believe or accept it.

"I told you I know you. Also you did tell me to feed you these food whenever I meet you on early days."

"Future Me told you to give current me a cheeseburger?" I asked with a frown.

"You caught on quickly. I guess all those time you spent reading about us pays off." teased River.

"Yeah, see about that...how much do you know...about my situation?"

"We should eat first. The burger won't be as delicious cold."

We sat down on the dining room and started eating. Oh, I devoured the burger, fries and everything River bring on the table. It was delicious and frankly it feel like forever since the last time I ate junk food. After we finished eating, I decided to confront her and demand answers.

"River, tell me..."

"I think you already know."

"Not clear enough. Please just explain it to me. How did you met me? Where is future me right now?"

"Probably with the Doctor, I should think."

"Noooo." I shook my head in disbelief.

"Yeess."

"I... Why would I be with him? Does he know me too? How? This doesn't make any sense."

"Spoiler..." River replied in a teasing manner.

"Don't. Don't do that. That's your thing with him, not me." I said with a glare.

River calmly meet my glare.

"I...I can never go home anymore then?" I asked. "If I'm still with the Doctor..."

"The Doctor would never stop looking for ways to get you back home, believe in that..."

I never felt as alone and lost as that moment. I am afraid of the future which is nothing new. "So I become the Doctor's companion?"

"Yes."

"Which Doctor?"

River grinned. "You really do know so much about that mad man, don't you?"

Oh my God, did I make a mistake? Should I have kept my mouth shut? What if this is like those fanfiction where the Doctor think I'm some sort of psychic with direct link to his future? What if he saw me as a threat? Oh, God, I hope I'm not mutating into anything. Though it would be cool to have some mental power. And it's not like I really know everything about DW universe anyway. I only know DW episodes with Ninth Doctor and the rest. Unfortunately I don't have a photographic memory so I don't quite remember everything. But I do know the basic about Time Lord, Tardis and stuff.

"You will find out soon enough and when you are ready." River said again but her expression is somewhat solemn.

Oh gosh, something bad will happen in my future, won't it? Well, judging from how River treated me, I guess I am safe, that she and the Doctor didn't see me as a threat.

Part of me who is a DW fangirl cheers that I, of all people, get to be in DW universe but what's that saying? Something too good to be true need caution or whatever? But another part of me is grieving the possible lost of my family. I am truly alone. Well, River said she is my friend but is she really? What if she lies? Rule One, the Doctor lies, that's what River always said and she does it all the times too. Can I really trust her?

"River, I..."

"You want to know about the camp where they imprisoned you. About the other prisoners?"

How did she even do that? Is she a mind reader now? "Did I told you that as well?"

River chuckled. "No but it's written all over your face." she replied. "The slave traders have been taken away and will face judgement. The other prisoners will probably be taken to a hospital for treatment before allowed to return to society."

"What about those who got sold?"

"Well, that's a bit more complicated. I guess it would depend on the cooperation of the criminals. But don't worry, they will be talking sooner or later."

I thought about the sweet female alien that are one of my friends. She got sold as sex slave for some bastard. I wanted to rescue her. I wanted to rescue everyone even those fellow prisoners who were mean to me. But what can I do?

"They have to pay for what they did to me and everyone..." I whispered softly. I hated how weak I am but then I always am the weakest one. Not that I get bullied back at my original word, I am just too...quiet. Quiet thing hardly get heard. And I always doubt myself even when I know I am right I still need people to confirm it.

"They will." River said calmly with a sense of danger in it. "I can promise you that."

I stared at her for a brief moment before I burst into tears. The dam is broken and let me just said that I am gross with my puffy red eyes and runny nose.

River just put her hand on mine while the other pat my back in comforting gesture.

After that I got back into the room River prepared for me and just go back to sleep. I dreamed of my family, of the life I left behind. I got depressed even more. River left me alone, only come when it was time to eat. She give me my space and I respect that. Though I felt bad that I am such a burden to her. I promised I will be more cheerful somewhat tomorrow. Needless to say, I kind of failing miserably. During that time, I didn't think much about my impending future as the Doctor's companion, if I actually should prepare myself for a life with the Doctor. Frankly, I would be fine ignoring that and just hide in that room forever. I did told you I am not companion material, didn't I?

It took a long while before I warmed up to River, she might be my favorite character, but she is still a stranger to me. Though she did her best to comfort me and even watch movies with me during her lazy days. Most of the time, she left for what I assume to teach a class in some university on the moon or go on adventure with the Doctor. I didn't really want to ask. She didn't ask anything to me which I am so glad for.

River gifted me with a beautiful ornament bracelet. She said if I ever want to go out on my own around the village and meet unsavory character, I only need to push the hidden button on the ornament and she will be given a distress signal and when it comes to it, she can also teleport me to wherever she is at. She wanted me to feel safe which I am so grateful of.

So I tried to make myself go out of the house. I can't exactly keep myself hidden from the world forever, can I? Though back in my original world, that is what I would like to do just to avoid the complication of being responsible adult in strict society. At least here, I have the bracelet as my security blanket. But my insecurity is running high again, what if River got bored dealing with me? I meant I'm just nothing special, how can someone as wonderful as she is could ever befriend a dumb person like me?

I wonder if she has an ulterior motive to befriend me...or maybe the obvious reason is, she is keeping watch over me because I know the future of her precious Doctor. I wonder if this is a situation of keeping your frenemies closer to you thing? Well, I don't want to be in the same boat as those OC where they suffered in the hand of darker version of the Doctor. Most of those stories are still hanging in the balance and I have no idea how the OC overcome the situation yet and get a happy ending. Because I am Me, I am in doubt if I could ever achieve anything good with the lemon the universe decided to throw to me or at me.

I went out of the house and meet the villagers, they are friendly but not intrusive. I can see why River loves to live here from time to time. I introduced myself as YeN LiN when asked about my name. Mostly, I was left alone in peace reading book in the garden. I suppose for now I should just go through the motion and hope everything will work out somehow. Even if this does not going to end well, at least I can I actually said that I have been to a fictional world and, meh...

If only I could believe that I can actually not care about other people's opinion of me and just do what I want, damn the consequence, that would be nice.

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

I stared at the patch of darkness inside my room. There, on the corner of the room, I saw someone or something that shape like a person, standing there. Its fathomless eyes stared back at me or at least it felt like it. I found myself unable to move. Sleep paralysis, my mind supplied. Once in a while, I did get those pesky situation where I can't really tell whether I'm asleep or awake and always my idiotic mind supplies a demon-like shape to torment me. Whenever it happened, I'm always afraid that the shape will come forward toward me but it didn't. It will eventually be gone but still I'm scared out of mind each time that happen again.

Like right now, the shape look like person wearing something akin to black astronaut suit but isn't. I can't tell in the dark and I'm never good at describing things in the first place. It might be wearing a helmet-like over its head or maybe a hoodie? I think it was more like a mask, like those gas mask in one of those DW episode but it was not pointed? Maybe my mind just supplying many detail from astronaut suit and the gas mask I saw from DW combine with the suit the villain in that Marvel movie...Antman and the Wasp one. That is too many detail for something that is not supposed to be real, right? And the eyes...it kind of reminded me of a creepy drawing of black or grey crayon of what supposed to be the eyes like a bottomless hole or something.

I tried to open my eyes (are my eyes open or closed?) to see it better but I can't. It felt harder to focus. Duh! Maybe because it's really just my stupidly active imagination. Suddenly there was two dot of red over the eyes and I gasped...awake to the familiar sound of TARDIS emerging. I quickly look over the corner of the room, there are no shape whatsoever to my great relief.

I got out of my bed and toward the windows once I recovered from the fear. I peek from behind the curtain and sure enough, the TARDIS is there. I almost lost my breath because seeing is believing. I knew that I am in DW universe as I already met one of the character but I never get to see the TARDIS before so when I saw it, it just took my breath away.

The door opened, River and Eleven got out of the TARDIS. They were dressed elegantly. A date night, maybe. I can't stop staring at them, marveling at these characters. How lucky I am to be the one able to see those two with my own eyes. I ship them so badly. I couldn't hear what they said but from their body language, I think they are flirting. I almost squeal in delight and have to hide myself when suddenly River turn to look at the direction of the windows where I'm at.

I think I manage to hide very well because when I peek again, those two are still busy talking or flirting again. The Doctor probably staring at his wife with love or fondness I can imagine. Oh, I'm so jealous. I ship them, sure, but I still can't help be a dreamer that wish that the Doctor will see me like that too. Not that it will happen because I am, well, just Me. Ugh, why do I do this to myself? Always be mean to myself and I can't help it. Even now that I got my sorta wish and ended up in DW universe, I still can't make myself to be like those OCs in fanfiction, to be smart or interesting or maybe with a great stamina because this is DW, you know, a lot of running will be involved when it come to the Doctor. Once again I am reminded that I am not, and never will be, a companion material. And yet, here I am in this world.

According to River, though she is very vague, I will be the Doctor's companion or at least will be by his side, but I really can't imagine it. What if I will be like the OCs that become the Doctor's ward because of my knowledge of the future thing? I never able to get a straight answer from River whether she really know about my future knowledge's origin. She did confirm (with a bit of surprise, I think) that I do know the future or at least know things about the Doctor but she never once mention anything about whether future Me told her about the origin. Should I keep my mouth shut about that particular bit? I don't want to be like those OCs where the Doctor think them unstable just because they told him the truth about DW being a TV show in their world. Speaking of those fanfictions, I can't help but feel sad that I won't be able to see or read the update from those awesome writers now that I got stuck in this world.

Priority, Me! Geez, you need to try to find a way home then you can worry about those fanfictions once you are safely at home. Or at least, if what River implied true that it might take a long while before I can go back home, I have to try to adapt in this world. But I don't know how and I am afraid. I still think I should avoid being the Doctor's future companion. I don't want to mess the timeline. I don't want to ruin the Doctor's future.

I got back to my bed and tried to force myself back to sleep. I can't sleep for a long while and when I finally could, it was blissful.

The next morning, after I woke up, I went to the kitchen where River greeted me with a cup of tea.

"Sleep well?" River asked with a smile.

"Hmm, somewhat..."

"Nightmare?" She sounded concerned.

"Just incessant thought about things beyond me..." I mumbled still with heavy-eyed.

"Sorry about waking you up last night. I will tell the Doctor to park the TARDIS a little far next time."

I blinked at her, feeling like caught in a lie. "Hmm, I didn't notice..."

"Really?" River grinned teasingly.

I didn't answer instead I drank my tea with a guilty look to which she laughed. Finally, I admitted. "It's my first time seeing it for real...the TARDIS..."

"Would you like to come inside the TARDIS next time?"

"I don't think I should."

"Why not?"

I only shrugged and refused to elaborate further.

River sighed at me. "You have to try to be social again you know sometime soon."

"Not right now. I just...can't."

"Can't or won't?"

"I'm social enough around here..."

"Going to the park by your lonesome or spend time in library reading books does not count. Greeting our neighbors with the usual good morning/evening also does not count as being social."

"It does to me..." I mumbled petulantly.

River rolled her eyes at my response but it wasn't with exasperation, more like...fondness. "At least try to make some friends, YeN."

How can she be fond of me? Are we really, as she said, friend with each other? I shook my head at the thought. Be grateful that she cares, bitch! What will you do if no one is on your side? About her suggestion to make friends, I suppose I could try it with the few people around the neighborhood, maybe just one person... This village is peaceful so there is no way that the one time I make friend, it would be with untrustworthy person, right? I meant I guess I'm bad at judging people's characters. At that, I was reminded of Marcus. That is the name of the man who sold me to the slave traders. He look like a good person but turned out he is not. I got a bit depressed when reminded of him and of my very unpleasant times with the slave traders.

Ugh, this make me not want to be social again. I just want to be in my room and just sleep all day long or read book...that's always fun. But I'm afraid it won't look good with River. I am such a burden, living in her house, eating her foods and what do I bring to the table to make it up to her? Nothing.

"I should get a job." I accidentally thought out loud.

"That's a great idea, YeN." River replied. "There is a job opening in the university where I work. Maybe you could join the staff there. Or maybe you could be my assistant. I already have one but I suppose I could get two instead."

I winced at that. "No... I just don't think. I was hoping for a job that doesn't require me to interact with too much people. I'm just...not ready..." I hope I didn't hurt her feeling.

"I see. It's alright, YeN. Take your time."

I felt bad about not telling her my true name but she is the one who greeted me first with that name. YeN LiN. I'm just going along with it. That's fine, right? I'm sure future Me have a good reason for introducing ourselves with that name.

Suddenly River gave me a diary. She said to write my times here in the book.

"This isn't suppose to work like yours and the Doctor's diary, is it?" I asked.

"It could if you want. But It's mostly for you to vent out your feeling, dear."

"Thanks for the diary. Is it a normal diary?"

"Of course it is. What do you think it is?"

I shrugged sheepishly. "I thought it would be like yours, you know."

At that, River's face falls.

I wanted to kick myself in the head for mentioning the diary and for putting a frown on her face. My mouth has no filter and I seemed to out my knowledge of the future or the things I'm not suppose to know here and there. I hope this didn't bite me in the ass in the future.

"I'm sorry, River." I said.

She blinked. "Why would you be sorry?"

"He loves you, you know." I said while on the inside, I screamed at myself to shut the hell up.

River didn't say anything about it and just change the conversation to something else.

Anyway River went back to work and I was alone once again. So I grab my keys and got out of the house to take a walk. I was minding my own business, when suddenly this guy approached me. I understandably wary of him. His name is Caleb. He lives in the village too and he has been watching me, apparently curious of the new resident of the village. River told me that she has told the other residents that I am her niece who come to live with her.

"Hey, you are Professor Song's niece, right?" he called. "I'm Caleb."

"I'm YeN."

"Oh."

"It is a weird name, I know." I said.

"Not at all. I like it." He said.

"Do you know River?"

"She help me with my project a few times. She's brilliant." He said with a grin.

I can't help but grin as well. "Yes, she is." I felt kind of proud of River even though I have no relation to her. But I guess she is sort of my family now, the only one that I have. I owe her everything since she saved my life, rescued me from those horrid future as a slave.

We talked a bit about my relation with River then I pray to God above that Caleb would left me alone. I'm starting to feel uncomfortable. I'm no good at small talk or big talk. Suck to be me, isn't it? Thankfully he did leave.

Curious, just as soon as River told me to make a friend then he come. I wonder if River arrange for him to talk to me. After he left, I enjoy my time alone in the park with my book. Caleb probably found me boring and hopefully I discouraged him from seeking me further. But he apparently didn't get the memo. The next few days, he kept showing up wherever I am, which is in the park or at the library. It is a public place so maybe it's just a coincidence and he's just trying to be polite.

Caleb just sat down with me in the library and started talking about fiction books that he likes. He even brought me a drink once or twice. He just kept making conversation with me. Part of me thinking...hoping that maybe he is interested enough in me to make friend with me but I, being me, of course, found that hard to believe. If he is female like me then I might believe the attempt to be friend. Male tend to never paid attention to me so why this random dude suddenly did?

I have to admit he is good at his approach though. I still feel a bit discomfort toward him but there is part of me who enjoy being paid attention to by him.

River commented to me that I'm a bit more lively than before. Am I really that bad before? I suppose I am. I didn't tell her about Caleb but I suspect she knew. Maybe she did arrange our friendship after all. I wonder if Caleb pity me. Ugh, stop it, Me! Just enjoy him while you still can! Before he run away from you.

My pep talk to myself isn't exactly uplifting but it is the only way I know it.

One day Caleb come over to the house with a cake, something about his mom bake too much and told him to give it to River and me. I like talking to him but I'm not sure I want to invite him inside when I am alone. While I'm torn in my dilemma, River out of nowhere (when did she come home?) come up from behind me and told him to come in.

River cut the cake and share it with Caleb and me. We ate and drink tea and talk for a bit. It was a bit awkward, at least for me. River and Caleb seemed to enjoy talking to each other. Apparently Caleb knew that River is a time-traveller.

"...be ready, YeN."

I blinked at those two. "What?"

River grinned at me. Uh-oh, I don't like what her grin implies. "I'm going to take you both out on a date."

"What?"

"It's a masquerade party. Everyone will be dressed in vintage. That's one of your wishes, right?" River said again.

"What?"

River rolled her eyes. "You sounded like the Doctor. Stop saying what."

"I will once you start making sense!" I glared at her.

River grinned. "You told me once that one of your wishes is to attend a masquerade party with vintage dresses. If we go now, you can finally cross it out of your list."

I have a list?! Also I never told her that. Judging from her expression, I guess it's a future Me told her thing again. I sighed. A list, huh? I guess I should start on that. But a masquerade party? I can't even dance.

"Don't worry I know you can't dance. It will be fine. Just enjoy the party."

"I could dance." Caleb finally spoke. "I meant I once learnt it for a period stage drama back when I was at school." He looked at me almost with puppy eyes. "I can teach you."

Ugh, now what? I would feel like kicking a puppy if I refuse. "Ok, fine." I relented.

And so River has this handy tools that make clothes. I suppose it's a futuristic thing. I look at the mirror and saw myself in this vintage dress that I could never own properly in my real life. Do I really want to do this?

"Don't think too much, YeN. Just live a little." River said upon seeing my expression.

She is good at reading me, isn't she?

"If at some point, you feel uncomfortable, I promise I will take you home right away. Or here, let me recalibrate the bracelet..." She said and grabbed my hand, the one with the bracelet she gave me earlier. "I will program it to take you back here when you push the button. Okay now?"

"Thanks."

"Your welcome, dear." She smiled.

Caleb showed up in a suit and River took us to the party with her vortex manipulator. We wore our masks before entering the ballroom.

At the ballroom, I feel like I am in one of those exciting movie with the vampire and the waltz dance. It definitely an experience. Contrary to my fear, no one actually paid attention to me, except Caleb, I suppose.

River is gone. Grr, that woman! She left me alone with Caleb. Talk about awkward. He asked me to join the dance and we did. As expected, I keep stepping on his toes but to his credits, he remained a gentleman.

I finally got a glimpse of River and she was talking to someone. I couldn't recognize him because he was wearing a mask. I wonder if he could be the Doctor but his appearance doesn't give away which Doctor he is. Not that I know about the other Doctors from 1-8 so if he is one of them, I will not recognize him.

Caleb called out for my attention. He admitted that he did befriend me because of River but he told me he like me and want to remain friend with me.

I'm not good with gender opposite but thankfully I am able to respond before I made a fool of myself further. I accepted his friendship. It's like he reading my mind that I am feeling out of place so he distract me by asking me to guess which one of the guest I think could be a Dracula. It does take my mind off and made me enjoy the time we have together. But eventually we agreed to go home earlier after River is nowhere to be seen. She is probably off to dangers.

TBC


End file.
